Baby Blues

Are You Suffering from the Baby Blues?

by Carina Wolf, LCSW

Postpartum Depression is a type of depression someone might develop after the birth of their baby. It can start any time after the birth, and last up to two years. We also know that some individuals can develop symptoms during their pregnancy, which is called Perinatal Mood Disorder.

Is there a difference between Postpartum Depression and Baby Blues?

Baby Blues are short term, with most women seeing improvement after about three weeks. Symptoms such as irritability, feeling overwhelmed, weeping and exhaustion are tolerable, meaning the emotional instability doesn’t interfere with caring for the baby or themselves. About 80% of women will experience symptoms of Baby Blues.

Postpartum Depression, however, lasts longer (up to two years after the birth of baby). Symptoms are usually more severe, and can include excessive worrying, feeling anxious, anger, disconnection from family and/or baby, irritability, agitation, appetite change, sleep changes (not being able to sleep when baby sleeps, or sleeping too much), tearfulness, difficulty concentrating, guilt or shame. This can lead moms to have a difficult time caring for the baby or for themselves.  About 10-20% women experience Postpartum Depression.

Some women might also develop panic, PTSD, OCD and/or Postpartum Psychosis.

• Some signs of panic include feeling worried, nervous and/or anxious most of the time. Some individuals might also experience panic attacks, which can often feel like having a heart attack.

• PTSD might develop during the pregnancy or following a childbirth that has been perceived as a traumatic experience. 

• OCD symptoms can include intrusive or disturbing thoughts. There is usually a hyper-vigilance about keeping the baby safe, which leads to repetitive actions in order to reduce fear.

• Although Postpartum Psychosis occurs less frequently (in about 1% to 3% women), it requires immediate intervention. Symptoms can include hallucinations, inability to sleep, strange beliefs, rapid mood changes, agitation, irritability and/or poor decision making. 

Who is at risk?

• Data shows that teenage moms are at a higher risk to experience postpartum depression than older moms. It is important to note, however, that all women, and sometimes even fathers, can experience perinatal mood disorders.

• Individuals who struggled with mental health issues previously are also at a higher risk to experience postpartum depression.

If you or a loved one experience any of the symptoms mentioned, please reach out for help. Know that you are not alone, and that with professional guidance symptoms can decrease. Talk to your medical provider and seek professional counseling with someone who is trained to understand perinatal mood disorders.

Another important resource is the Maternal Mental Health organization in Utah:
https://mihp.utah.gov/maternal-mental-health

I would love to help, too! I am trained in perinatal mood disorders and would be honored to work with you. You can reach me by emailing carina[@]theeftclinic.com.

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References:

https://www.webmd.com/depression/postpartum-depression/understanding-postpartum-depression-basics#1

https://www.psiutah.org/emotional-health/signs-symtoms/

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Carina is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker at The EFT Clinic in Salt Lake City and Lehi, Utah. She earned her Bachelor’s degree in Psychology, and her Masters of Social Work degree. Carina has great passion for therapy, and strives to provide a safe and non-judgmental environment where individuals and couples are met with empathy. She uses a client-centered approach to meet each individual’s needs. Using approaches such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Dialectical Behavior Therapy, and mindfulness, Carina helps clients realize that when they know better they do better.

If you would like to schedule an appointment with Carina, please call 385-695-5949 or email carina@theeftclinic.com.

What Are Boundaries, and Do I Need Them?

What Are Boundaries, and Do I Need Them?

by Carina Wolf, LCSW

Lately, the topic of boundaries has come up quite frequently with my clients. The dictionary defines a boundary as “a real or imagined line that marks the edge or limit of something.” 

In plain and simple English, a boundary is what is ok and not ok to you. There is not rule of what you should find to be ok and acceptable. This is one of the beauties of creating and setting boundaries… it is totally up to you. 

Boundaries are created to keep us safe, whether it is emotionally safe, physically safe or psychologically safe. When we feel safe we have a greater chance to feel self-love and self-compassion. 

I often hear people say that they are afraid of setting boundaries because they don’t want to offend other people or don’t want other people to be mad at them. The worry about being liked is greater than having their needs being met! But people in this situation can also be left resentful, frustrated, angry and upset with people they deem to be breaking their boundaries. But guess what? People can’t break your boundaries if they haven’t been set! And they can’t break boundaries if they are not aware of them. Setting boundaries looks like anything from saying no to a request to being very clear and overt to what boundary you are trying to set.

Here are some words you can use when setting a boundary:

“No, thanks for asking.”

“I can’t this time, thanks for considering me.”

“I won’t be able to attend this function/event, thank you for inviting me.”

“I don’t want to.”

“I don’t allow people to speak to me this way.”

“I don’t allow people to treat me this way.”

Boundaries are not requests. They are statements that are not left open for negotiation. Once you set the boundaries, the other person(s) might try to break them because your boundaries do not serve them. One of the key components of setting boundaries is that you are the only person responsible to uphold them. Your boundaries are not the other person’s responsibility to keep and hold. When you have set your boundaries, and feel that they are being violated, it is your job and no one else’s to reinforce them. It might take some getting used to and you might have to reinforce them a few times before the other person receives the message that you are not moving your boundaries for them. Once again, you set the boundaries and you uphold them!

Ultimately, boundaries are about respect. Respect for yourself, your time and your well being. Nothing can be sustained for a long period of time without boundaries.

 __________

Online Reference: www.dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/english/boundary.

Carina Wolf is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker at The EFT Clinic in Salt Lake City and Lehi, Utah. If you would like to schedule an appointment with Carina, please call (385-695-5949) or email carina@theeftclinic.com.

Creating a Meaningful Life in Stressful Times

Creating a Meaningful Life in Stressful Times

By Carina Wolf, LCSW

Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) was created by doctor and researcher Marsha M. Linehan in the late 1980s in order to treat chronically suicidal individuals suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). DBT is a combination of Western principles of behavioral change and Eastern Zen practices. DBT aims to change dysfunctional patterns in emotional regulation, interpersonal relationships, identity, and impulse control to build a life worth living. 

A significant component of DBT is helping the client find the balance between acceptance of their current situation while also seeking change. DBT’s four main core skills (emotional regulation, distress tolerance, interpersonal effectiveness and mindfulness) are effective in times of high stress, such as the current time of COVID-19. 

In DBT there is an idea of dialectical thinking, which is the belief that two opposites can be true. We can apply this concept to our current time by being happy to have more down time while also mourning the activities we can no longer do or mourning social interaction. We can be hopeful and hopeless. Both of these ideas can be true at the same time!

DBT helps individuals to create a life worth living while dealing with anxiety, depression, mental illness, or just daily stressors such as job loss, financial insecurity, and sickness. We can also use the skills and tools of DBT to create a more meaningful life while being in isolation and having mixed emotions about it all. 

How Dialectical Thinking Helps Us Find Meaning

We can ask ourselves questions such as “How can I create more meaningful relationships while being apart from loved ones?”, or “How can I be more intentional in my daily interactions that allows people to know that I love and care about them?” We can mourn many aspects of our lives while at the same time seeking meaning in our new normal and creating positive interactions with ourselves and those few people around us. 

Our emotional mind might be feeling:

• Overwhelmed

• Grief

• Life is out of control

• Intense fear

• Full of anxiety 

Our rational mind can be thinking:

• What are some aspects of my life that I can control?

• I can control my schedule, my eating, my sleeping, and the amount of exercise I do.

• I can control the amount of news I read about COVID-19

• I can control the ratio of positive/negative news that enters my house

• What resources do I have that can be shared with those who don’t?

• How can I serve those around me and my community at this time?

• What are some rituals I can create with those around me to find meaning at this time?

• Can you cook dinner more often together?

• Can you take part in an online church service that helps you connect to others?

• Play games, talk with others either in person, on the phone or online?

These questions are the difference between having a mind full and being mindful (Taylor, 2020).

We can practice acceptance of our current situation while also actively working to change what we can. When we accept that this is our current situation, we can move forward with increased confidence and peace. This mentality helps us to:

• Seek for the positive in times of high stress

• Seek ways to find calmness among the chaos 

• Seek for activities that fill my soul

• Allow yourself to feel all emotions without judgment

Applying DBT to Attachment Theory

“When a relationship to a special loved person is endangered, we are not only anxious but are usually angry as well. As responses to the risk of loss, anxiety and anger go hand in hand. It is not for nothing that they have the same etymological root.” —John Bowlby

During this time of COVID-19 it is more important than ever to cultivate meaningful attachments. We can be asking ourselves: How can strong attachments be created during COVID-19? 

A different way to see this question is by asking: Is there only one way to create attachment and strengthen relationships?

Maybe this is our time to be creative and more intentional about our relationships. 

Can we create ways to get to know our neighbors while staying at a safe distance? 

The answer is yes, yes we can!

This can be a time where we can create new attachments and strengthen old ones. Merging DBT skills with Attachment will help us practice dialectical thinking where we can be frustrated, fearful, angry and overwhelmed while also feeling loved, giving love, seeking opportunities to connect and create rituals. We let go of emotional suffering by taking control of what we can control.

Last but not least, be vulnerable! Attachments can be developed from our ability to be vulnerable and reach out to others. Don’t be afraid to say what you feel and how you feel. This situation affects us all in different ways and we can feel many different emotions related to it. Reach out when you need the extra support. Chances are that you are not the only one. 

Photo reference:

Taylor, M. [Center For Change]. (2020) Ambiguous Loss in the Time of CIVID-19: Shifting Your Mindset to Find Hope and Resiliency. [Video]. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ADSMSVDWq_4&feature=emb_logo

Carina Wolf is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker at The EFT Clinic in Salt Lake City and Lehi, Utah. If you would like to schedule an appointment with Carina, you can email her at carina@theeftclinic.com or call our scheduling line at 385-695-5949.