Premarital Counseling

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Premarital Counseling

by Misty DeMann, LAMFT

Marriage is one of the biggest life cycle changes that will occur. When a couple decides to start their life together, there are many developmental aspects involved. “Marriage requires that two people renegotiate a great many issues they have previously defined individually or through their culture and family of origin, such as money, space, time, and when and how to sleep, talk, have sex, fight, work, and relax” (McGoldrick, Preto, & Carter, 2016). There are adjustments and things that have to be discussed that most couples don’t usually realize until they are well into their marriage. Premarital counseling and workshops provide couples an opportunity to work through some of these adjustments and to join together. It also provides them an opportunity to start their marriage on a solid foundation because they have learned how to communicate with each other. 

Couples would not participate in premarital counseling if they did not believe it was helpful. But what exactly does the research say about premarital counseling? A study conducted by Carlson et al. found that couples who participated in premarital counseling had lower levels of stresses and higher relationship satisfaction (Carlson, et al., 2012). This shows that it is not only beneficial to health of the relationship, but to the health of the individual. Borowski and Tambling found that this increased health also builds commitment in the relationship. “Research suggests that premarital counseling is not only associated with higher levels of martial satisfaction and lower levels of destructive conflicts but is also associated with higher levels of interpersonal commitment to one’s spouse” (Borowski & Tambling, 2015).  This commitment to relationship fosters a marriage where the couple is willing to work through issues and go to counseling in the future. When a couple is willing to get help through counseling and do it before the relationship is too far broken, the couple is more likely reestablish high relationship satisfaction and stay together. (Borowski & Tambling, 2015).

The next time you are thinking what to give a new couple as a shower or wedding gift, consider giving them the gift of premarital counseling, and helping them solidify and protect their most important relationship. Misty is one of the therapists at The EFT Clinic that is trained specifically in premarital counseling. She is passionate about helping new couples build and strengthen their relationship from the beginning.

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References

Borowski, S. C., & Tambling, R. B. (2015). Applying the Health Belief Model to young individuals’ beliefs and preferences about premarital counseling. The Family Journal, 23(4), 417–426. https://doi-org.proxy1.ncu.edu/10.1177/1066480715602221

Carlson, R. G., Daire, A. P., Munyon, M. D., & Young, M. E. (2012). A comparison of cohabiting and noncohabiting couples who participated in premarital counseling using the PREPARE model. The Family Journal, 20(2), 123–130. https://doi-org.proxy1.ncu.edu/10.1177/1066480712441588