Relationships: Surviving Worldly Turmoil and Differences in Opinion

Relationships: Surviving Wordly Turmoil and Differences in Opinion

by Danielle Thurman, LMFT

How do our relationships make it through so much worldly turmoil and difference of opinion?

No two people are exactly alike. With a world full of opinions and differences, how do we continue to create connections or come together?

The answer is: Holding Space.

A common goal of couples and family therapy is learning to hold space for one another. What is holding space? It is walking alongside the other person during their life journey no matter what that journey may be. Holding space is about being able to be present in the moment. To fully listen to what the other person is saying, without formulating what to say next. There is no judgement, but rather, trying to see the other person’s side with compassion and kindness. While holding space, we allow the other person to take accountability for their path. We avoid trying to fix them or change the outcome. We open our hearts, and offer love and support. We don’t expect anything in return. This can be very difficult to do when we have experienced trauma or relationship distress. 

Helpful Tip:
Rather than fixating on the words the person is sharing, try to understand what this might emotionally feel like for the person. For example, if they share a different political view than you, understand that they may be worried about upcoming changes and sharing political facts. Try to validate the fear rather than focusing on those details. You may have a different political view, but we have all experienced fear. This helps us to come together and create connections. If we can get deep enough on the issues, most often find there is a fear underneath. A fear of losing people we love. A fear of being understood or valued. We may be using the details or logical parts of the story which disconnect us because we are all different in this place. Underneath, we all have felt fear. This helps our relationships come together rather than disconnect.

Danielle Thurman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist at The EFT Clinic, and is available for sessions in both our Millcreek and Lehi offices, as well as online.
To schedule an appointment, please call or email today.
(385)695-5949 or dani@theeftclinic.com